Well, for those who don't know I stepped out of my comfort zone here recently. I took the encouragement of friends and family and a huge leap of faith and auditioned for a nationally syndicated show, the X Factor. The auditions were in Dallas and I made the first 3 rounds and had a blast. It was an incredible experience and a wonderful opportunity to meet people who are so far from my own bubble, I'm sure I would not have met them otherwise.
And for those who watch, American Idol and America's Got Talent and other such shows...yes there are the 'original' looking people as well as some incredibly talented and genuine people. I had the opportunity to talk and share stories with so many people.
One situation sticks out in my mind. During the second cut we were taken in groups of 10, based on age, O was for over 26 - or as we called it...the oldies! And taken back to the auditioning booths and made to wait for our turn. The waiting process varied but this particular time we sat for about 40 minutes to an hour. I sat next to an African American man who said he was 41. He had been married for 21 years and had 3 grown children and already a grandson. While I don't want to put a label on anyone I also want to depict my first impression of him to you. I would say he was a bit rougher than I would normally associate with. But here we were sitting next to one another, nervous and hoping that at 30 (me) and 41, our dreams might finally come true. So we started talking and after showing off pictures of our kids he asked me what I did and about my family. I mentioned that my husband is a youth pastor and it was complete shut down. I wish I had video taped it because the mention of God or me having any connection to a church was definitely not a good thing in his book and his face and actions hid none of that.
Well, needless to say we stopped conversing rather abruptly and waited some more. But after a few minutes the others in our group started a conversation and the two of us were thrown back together talking and laughing as if the 'God' thing never happened. And after some time my name was called to go and audition, but before I got up he said to me, "I was kind of nervous when you said your husband works at a church...but you're really cool." That was it! Something had changed in the course of 20 minutes.
My assumption from this encounter was at some point he had a bad experience with a Christian. Something happened that made him think all Jesus people were awful and so he didn't want me judging him or throwing Jesus in his face. But by the end I think he realized it wasn't such a bad thing. I didn't open my Bible or preach to him...I didn't share my own salvation story. I just laughed and talked and listened. While I know I probably won't ever see this man again I'm hoping that the Holy Spirit used me to plant a seed. A seed that will allow him to next time not turn away from the believer. A seed that will tempt him to darken the door of a church some day, hoping to find laughter and friendship and hope! And this is just one of many stories I could tell you about my adventure.
I saw a lot of people searching and hoping for I don't know what. Something to fill the void of dissatisfaction. Something to find their identity in. I am sure there was a whole lot of things I can't even imagine people were looking for. But I know that while my motives and expectations for the trip were nothing compared to what God had planned for me, I am so thankful He knows whats best for me.
So, I didn't make it to the televised audition and while the rejection stings (if you say differently you must be super human!) I know God's plan for my life is phenomenal. Last night I pictured God seeing the big picture, knowing what it would look like for me, my family and all affected if I made it far in this competition and saying Nope!! It's time to stop this. Much like I do with my girls. As a mom I know too much candy will only make them sick in the end. And so I stop them even though they cry out and say but mom its so yummy! Because I can see a bit further than them. So while my journey with the X Factor has come to a close I know incredible God breathed, Holy Spirit empowered things are ahead of me. More moments of sharing life with those whom God is still beckoning to draw close to him. And so I am glad I stepped out of my comfort zone. Glad that for a couple days I walked with people outside my bubble. If for no other reason than to share life for 40 minutes with a man from Florida who doesn't know my Jesus.
Love y'all!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Shame & Honor
Well, this last week Scott and I spent time in Estes Park, CO. It was gorgeous and if you get the chance I would highly encourage you to take a trip there and enjoy the incredible beauty of God's creation. The Rocky Mountains are spectacular. The reason we took the 15 hour ride there was for Student Life HS Youth Camp!! Yes it is that time of year....church camp! Last year we went to Glorietta, NM and I took both of the girls and it was not the experience I hoped for. So this year a friend kept the girls at our house during the day and my fabulous Mother in law kept them at night. It was rough, for everyone I think, but we made it through and I am so thankful. Scott and I were able to minister to the teens and do it uninterrupted and without major distraction. With young children in ministry, this is something to be treasured.
Anyway, the speaker was JR Vasser and the worship band was The Jeff Johnson Band. Both were fabulous. I highly recommend 'Ruin Me' and 'The beauty of the Cross' by Jeff Johnson. Both are wonderful worship songs that have caused me to pause and pray these lyrics over my life, my kids and our teens. But what I wanted to share were two very profound truths JR Vasser shared. I know that our students were touched by them and since I was I figured maybe you would be as well.
While speaking Vasser talked about being a young 20 something and speaking with someone about being a virgin or sexually pure. And he was mocked in a sense by being asked why would you do that. His response was an articulate description we should all be able to share. He told this girl, lets pretend that I am all knowing. I know everything, actual and possible. I know everything! Then lets pretend that I love you more than anything! I mean I love you more than anything and I know everything. Would you trust me? Of course the girl said Yes! If you know everything and you love me more than anything I would trust you. And he said that's why I am a virgin. I serve a God who wants the best for me and he gave me a book as an outline for life...why wouldn't I follow it and trust him?
And this to me was a beautiful way to share just about anything God has called us to? Don't you love it? If I put God's requests of me in this light, this perspective it makes total sense and allows me to trust on a level of complete dependence. I'm sure reading it and hearing are two totally different things but I hope this has hit you in some way or reminded you how He truly does not only know what is best but wants what is best for you.
Another thing I think hit home for our kids was the concept of honor and shame. So often the decisions and choices we make are based on the opinion of our friends and family. Because we have such a desire for acceptance, we aim to please man instead of pleasing God. Vasser said you have two options...shame and honor. You can have honor right now with people and shame for eternity with God, or you can have shame now with people and honor for eternity with God. I don't know about you but that makes my choices a bit easier. That makes my decisions aim towards honor with God for eternity. The present shame or ridicule seems less daunting when in the light of eternity.
That's all! I could go on forever because Vasser was that good. He preached out of Hosea and it was phenomenal. But these two truths really resonated with our teens. And I will ask you this. Our teens made some commitments and some decisions this last week that were all for God's glory. We are so proud of them and I know that God is pleased with their willingness to follow him and sacrifice what the world has to offer. But it isn't easy. Teens these days walk in a culture of instant self gratification and have access to everything and anything they want. So, I would ask you to join Scott, myself and our phenomenal leaders in praying that they maintain these commitments and live lives pleasing to the one who made the ultimate sacrifice.
On an adoption note...we are still stuck. We are now about to reschedule our fingerprinting or biometrics for the 3rd time. They keep rescheduling when we are out of town and todays newest appointment was again when we are on another HS trip. Not only does this put us behind in time but if I am being honest makes my spirits lag yet again. We are now behind months in time and the idea of actually meeting my son seems like a dream most days. Please be in prayer for us that things would make a turn for the better and that our spirits would not feel so defeated in regards to this process. We are positive we are called to this and thats why we haven't stopped anything or run from the turmoil in Ethiopia regarding adoption but it doesn't make it easy. We covet your prayers for our family as we continue to walk this out. Thanks everyone!!
Anyway, the speaker was JR Vasser and the worship band was The Jeff Johnson Band. Both were fabulous. I highly recommend 'Ruin Me' and 'The beauty of the Cross' by Jeff Johnson. Both are wonderful worship songs that have caused me to pause and pray these lyrics over my life, my kids and our teens. But what I wanted to share were two very profound truths JR Vasser shared. I know that our students were touched by them and since I was I figured maybe you would be as well.
While speaking Vasser talked about being a young 20 something and speaking with someone about being a virgin or sexually pure. And he was mocked in a sense by being asked why would you do that. His response was an articulate description we should all be able to share. He told this girl, lets pretend that I am all knowing. I know everything, actual and possible. I know everything! Then lets pretend that I love you more than anything! I mean I love you more than anything and I know everything. Would you trust me? Of course the girl said Yes! If you know everything and you love me more than anything I would trust you. And he said that's why I am a virgin. I serve a God who wants the best for me and he gave me a book as an outline for life...why wouldn't I follow it and trust him?
And this to me was a beautiful way to share just about anything God has called us to? Don't you love it? If I put God's requests of me in this light, this perspective it makes total sense and allows me to trust on a level of complete dependence. I'm sure reading it and hearing are two totally different things but I hope this has hit you in some way or reminded you how He truly does not only know what is best but wants what is best for you.
Another thing I think hit home for our kids was the concept of honor and shame. So often the decisions and choices we make are based on the opinion of our friends and family. Because we have such a desire for acceptance, we aim to please man instead of pleasing God. Vasser said you have two options...shame and honor. You can have honor right now with people and shame for eternity with God, or you can have shame now with people and honor for eternity with God. I don't know about you but that makes my choices a bit easier. That makes my decisions aim towards honor with God for eternity. The present shame or ridicule seems less daunting when in the light of eternity.
That's all! I could go on forever because Vasser was that good. He preached out of Hosea and it was phenomenal. But these two truths really resonated with our teens. And I will ask you this. Our teens made some commitments and some decisions this last week that were all for God's glory. We are so proud of them and I know that God is pleased with their willingness to follow him and sacrifice what the world has to offer. But it isn't easy. Teens these days walk in a culture of instant self gratification and have access to everything and anything they want. So, I would ask you to join Scott, myself and our phenomenal leaders in praying that they maintain these commitments and live lives pleasing to the one who made the ultimate sacrifice.
On an adoption note...we are still stuck. We are now about to reschedule our fingerprinting or biometrics for the 3rd time. They keep rescheduling when we are out of town and todays newest appointment was again when we are on another HS trip. Not only does this put us behind in time but if I am being honest makes my spirits lag yet again. We are now behind months in time and the idea of actually meeting my son seems like a dream most days. Please be in prayer for us that things would make a turn for the better and that our spirits would not feel so defeated in regards to this process. We are positive we are called to this and thats why we haven't stopped anything or run from the turmoil in Ethiopia regarding adoption but it doesn't make it easy. We covet your prayers for our family as we continue to walk this out. Thanks everyone!!
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