Stretching, Searching and Dreaming

Well, for those who don't know I stepped out of my comfort zone here recently. I took the encouragement of friends and family and a huge leap of faith and auditioned for a nationally syndicated show, the X Factor. The auditions were in Dallas and I made the first 3 rounds and had a blast. It was an incredible experience and a wonderful opportunity to meet people who are so far from my own bubble, I'm sure I would not have met them otherwise.

And for those who watch, American Idol and America's Got Talent and other such shows...yes there are the 'original' looking people as well as some incredibly talented and genuine people. I had the opportunity to talk and share stories with so many people.

One situation sticks out in my mind. During the second cut we were taken in groups of 10, based on age, O was for over 26 - or as we called it...the oldies! And taken back to the auditioning booths and made to wait for our turn. The waiting process varied but this particular time we sat for about 40 minutes to an hour. I sat next to an African American man who said he was 41. He had been married for 21 years and had 3 grown children and already a grandson. While I don't want to put a label on anyone I also want to depict my first impression of him to you. I would say he was a bit rougher than I would normally associate with. But here we were sitting next to one another, nervous and hoping that at 30 (me) and 41, our dreams might finally come true. So we started talking and after showing off pictures of our kids he asked me what I did and about my family. I mentioned that my husband is a youth pastor and it was complete shut down. I wish I had video taped it because the mention of God or me having any connection to a church was definitely not a good thing in his book and his face and actions hid none of that.

Well, needless to say we stopped conversing rather abruptly and waited some more. But after a few minutes the others in our group started a conversation and the two of us were thrown back together talking and laughing as if the 'God' thing never happened. And after some time my name was called to go and audition, but before I got up he said to me, "I was kind of nervous when you said your husband works at a church...but you're really cool." That was it! Something had changed in the course of 20 minutes.

My assumption from this encounter was at some point he had a bad experience with a Christian. Something happened that made him think all Jesus people were awful and so he didn't want me judging him or throwing Jesus in his face. But by the end I think he realized it wasn't such a bad thing. I didn't open my Bible or preach to him...I didn't share my own salvation story. I just laughed and talked and listened. While I know I probably won't ever see this man again I'm hoping that the Holy Spirit used me to plant a seed. A seed that will allow him to next time not turn away from the believer. A seed that will tempt him to darken the door of a church some day, hoping to find laughter and friendship and hope! And this is just one of many stories I could tell you about my adventure.

I saw a lot of people searching and hoping for I don't know what. Something to fill the void of dissatisfaction. Something to find their identity in. I am sure there was a whole lot of things I can't even imagine people were looking for. But I know that while my motives and expectations for the trip were nothing compared to what God had planned for me, I am so thankful He knows whats best for me.

So, I didn't make it to the televised audition and while the rejection stings (if you say differently you must be super human!) I know God's plan for my life is phenomenal. Last night I pictured God seeing the big picture, knowing what it would look like for me, my family and all affected if I made it far in this competition and saying Nope!! It's time to stop this. Much like I do with my girls. As a mom I know too much candy will only make them sick in the end. And so I stop them even though they cry out and say but mom its so yummy! Because I can see a bit further than them. So while my journey with the X Factor has come to a close I know incredible God breathed, Holy Spirit empowered things are ahead of me. More moments of sharing life with those whom God is still beckoning to draw close to him. And so I am glad I stepped out of my comfort zone. Glad that for a couple days I walked with people outside my bubble. If for no other reason than to share life for 40 minutes with a man from Florida who doesn't know my Jesus.

Love y'all!!