Some updates!!

For those few sweet people that look at our blog let me apologize for not updating recently. Scott was gone for 9 days on a mission trip and so I became a hermit with the girls in our house and immediately upon his return our social worker flew in from Dallas to complete the last portion of our home study, so I have been busy and neglectful of my updates. Our social worker leaves tomorrow and thus far the experience has been incredible for me. (More to follow later.)

As a brief update for those praying along side of us regarding the unrest over adoption in Ethiopia let me first say, thanks! You cannot imagine the joy and peace we feel as a family to know there are others out there supporting our little boy and millions of others just like him. And the great news is we are receiving hopeful reports. While we understand things can change very quickly, we also see much hope in the reports we are getting. The Ministry of Women and Children has been renamed (can't remember the new one) and restructured to offer more security and stability to the children and their birth families and adopting families. While they have not increased the number of adoptions currently being processed daily they have said within a couple of weeks once the new staff and procedures have been implemented they hope to raise the numbers gradually. As I said before this is fabulous news and proof that the Ethiopian government is still very much on board and supports adoptions out of their country, which bodes well for all of us still waiting for our children. Please continue to pray with us that the reports continue to be good and most of all that each decision made is one that will protect the children and keep their safety at the forefront of this process.

Now I wanted to share, briefly, a little of what our social worker has been sharing, imparting and teaching Scott and I during her 3 day visit. Her name is Adela and she has been in adoptions for I believe around 40 years, needless to say she is full of incredible wisdom and we are so thankful that we were assigned to her. The neat part of what she does during this visit is she doesn't just teach you. She shows you what your own gifts and strengths are in parenting. I found this most incredible because in our current society we tend to point out the negative things or ways we would parent differently. I'm sure you who are parents can relate to this, from the time you announce you are pregnant or adopting, everyone has an opinion and if you already have kids they want to sweetly tell you how you messed up before but can do better this time!! UGH! Well Adela is not like this. While she graciously corrects our misconceptions or sometimes ignorance she does not dwell on this.  And while I could go on forever about all she has taught us in such a short time I want to share with you one portion of what I have learned during this process.

I picked Adela up at the airport and we went to lunch together and it was great, we got to know one another and spoke about adoption and life in general. But later after she was settled in I returned to actually conduct my individual interview I guess you would call it. And thats where things got a bit more heavy. For those who don't know my story, my parents got divorced when I was 18. They had been married for over 21 years and my dad left. But the interesting part isn't that he left but he quite literally divorced me and my two brothers. After being a father for 21 years he decided he was done. Without going into too much detail I have had contact with him but not in some years now and even at 30 years old it still hurts. If I'm going to be quite honest this has been one of the most difficult things I have ever walked through. While I have made peace regarding many things and while I don't dwell on this often the hurt I felt and sometimes can still feel is very real. I've told you all of this because Adela wanted me to recount all of this. (not the most fun!) And by the end I had tears in my eyes and was trying to maintain some semblance of composure. And what she said next is what I found most intriguing.

She proceeded to explain to me that adopted children will suffer deep abandonment issues, something I already had read plenty on. And in the next breathe she said because of what I had walked through with my dad I would be unique to my son because I too had felt those feelings. Instead of replying to him with I understand, when he cries because at 6 he doesn't understand why his birth mother didn't keep him, I can truly say I understand!! While our stories will be different the feelings are not. While our circumstances will be different the hurt is not. And I'm hoping by now you see the beauty in this situation.

I've always heard that God never wastes a hurt. I have experienced this before but never to this degree. To think the day my dad walked out and left a young woman on the brink of adulthood....God had a plan, for me and my son. To think the day I cried because he continued to not return my phone calls....God had a plan, for me and my son. To think the day I found out he had remarried and moved on without even telling us and I was crushed...God had a plan, for me and my son!! God's plan was to call me out of my comfort and complacency. God's plan was to walk me through the valley of abandonment so that one day I could comfort my son!!! God's plan was to teach me to depend fully on Him for my identity, worth and sense of belonging so that one day I can teach my son these same truths. I rejoice over God's perfect plan! I am so thankful that He knows and I don't, what a mess I would make of things! And now I walk into this still understanding it will not be easy but rejoicing because God has been preparing me for this for longer than I knew. PRAISE GOD!!

As always I leave you with ridiculous thanks! We love you all and are so grateful to walk this out with you. Much love as we continue to see God's faithful hand in this process.