Here recently I have found that the word controversial is a great descriptor for Adoption. Google 'adoption' and you will not only find many agencies willing to aide you but many articles and blogs against the idea of adoption. And when we first started this process I found myself getting lost in the pro's and con's everyone had to share. I would finish an article weeping and wondering if this choice of ours was the best option not only for this child but for our family as well. Then in the next moment I would read a blog of an adoptive child, now an adult, sharing the joys, blessings and love that came from their parents and adoptive home. It is no wonder that this topic is so controversial with all of the opinions floating about. But in the end I always came back to truth! Your opinion, my opinion the world's view and the billboard off of Grant Street will not last any length of time nor will it stand the test of time as truth. But the Word of God will last forever. And the Bible say this about Adoption...
Exodus 2 says Pharaoh's Daughter adopted Moses (pro)
Esther 2 says Mordecai adopted his younger cousin Esther (pro)
John 19 we see Jesus hanging on the cross and as He looks down and sees His own mother and the disciple that He loved He tells them both to look upon one another as mother and son. Verse 27b says "and from that hour that disciple took her to his own home." (pro)
Adoption is not a foreign concept. Nor is it written with a bad connotation in the Word of God. No! In fact we as believers have been adopted. Romans 8:15 says, "So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children." I don't know about you but this verse makes me want to shout and scream praises at my God. That he loved me enough, chose to show his glory through me and adopted me as one of his own. That I am a co-heir with Jesus Christ!!!!
Now while Scott and I accept and believe all of these things as truth, the world and sadly even some believers can still find the negative in adoption. And while the subject is still controversial I'm glad!!! You may be rereading that last statement questioning my sanity but I believe Jesus was controversial. The bible even today is controversial. Why should my life and choices be any different? Why shouldn't my family stand out? Not for our glory or sake but for HIS!
Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation church wrote a blog about being controversial, here is a brief passage.
"They're so afraid of upsetting anyone that they compromise their message and the unique calling God has placed on them. They avoid criticism, which no one likes to receive. But they forfeit something far greater:
Influence. You can't have influence if you are not willing to be controversial.
Just ask Jesus. People in Jesus' day sharply differed on their opinions of Him. Wherever He went, people loved Him. And loved to hate Him. They flocked to Him to hear Him preach and see Him heal. But also to argue with Him and accuse Him of being the devil.
Jesus was controversial."
And this is how I leave you. I want my life to be controversial. I want others to look at me and wonder what is different, what separates her and her family from the world? What do her life choices say about her beliefs and convictions? Because these questions give me direct access into their lives. These questions allow me the wonderful opportunity to say I do it all for Jesus! The love I give, the choices I make and the impact I am able to have is only through HIM! All praise, honor and glory belong only to the one true risen god, Jesus Christ!!!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
All consuming!!
Well I just spent the last 2-3 hours on the phone with my mom and both of my brothers. And you can probably guess what we were talking about...babies! Of course most conversations start with stories about Lily and Anna and how funny and completely different they are! My oldest brother always asks me if I have any new "Lily stories"! HA! I live every day in Lily stories! HA!
Eventually we are on the phone for longer than we anticipated talking about the girls and of course the adoption and where everything currently is. And you know what I always think when I hang up? I could literally talk about this all day. Dream about where he is, when I will get to hold him for the first time or see his picture! Anything and everything can become all consuming!
And as thoughts, concerns and worries consume me I try to fall back on what I know is truth. I am confident that while I don't have all the details, God does. I am also confident that while I rest safely in God's arms so does my son, where ever he is. And while I don't always practice these truths in every moment, God is so good to me. Good to place family and friends around us who are so excited for us! Let me share with you some of the fun things people have said or told us that have kept me smiling and encouraged.
My two brothers fighting over what sports equipment to get him. Troy wants soccer and Tyler wants baseball.
Listening to my mom ask me why we can't bring home two sweet babies!!
Receiving texts from our friend Barbie that are filled with incredible amounts of encouragement.
Having my sister-in-law say that she and her husband are humbled to be named his guardians! (this one makes a mommy's heart burst with joy!)
Listening to Lily watch Lion King and say her brother lives there in Africa! And continue to ask me if he can play with her in the playroom when Mommy brings him home!
Share this journey with high school students and watch as they ask us about our son and share their own desire to adopt one day as we model this for them!
Fall in love with God more as He opens and softens hearts towards transracial adoption.
I could literally write pages of this! And as we continue along this journey we are so grateful. Grateful to have been chosen by God for this awesome assignment! Yes it is full of roller coaster moments, highs and lows but I wouldn't trade it for anything. At the beginning of this process I was frightened and questioned why God would have called us to something like this. I knew that my weak spirit could not handle the looks, the questions and the constant tension prevalent in transracial adoption. After voicing these concerns to a friend who has adopted two from Ethiopia she simply said, "Nikki, God does not always call us to the easy things!" and while some of this has been trying I can honestly say that I am so thankful He has called me to be uncomfortable. There is no reward in the easy! And the incredible blessings and life change I have seen in myself, my husband, family and friends are worth every moment of pain I may endure! So today I stand thankful that God has called me to the hard! Thankful that He has chosen to use me to show grace and love in the life of a child!
Eventually we are on the phone for longer than we anticipated talking about the girls and of course the adoption and where everything currently is. And you know what I always think when I hang up? I could literally talk about this all day. Dream about where he is, when I will get to hold him for the first time or see his picture! Anything and everything can become all consuming!
And as thoughts, concerns and worries consume me I try to fall back on what I know is truth. I am confident that while I don't have all the details, God does. I am also confident that while I rest safely in God's arms so does my son, where ever he is. And while I don't always practice these truths in every moment, God is so good to me. Good to place family and friends around us who are so excited for us! Let me share with you some of the fun things people have said or told us that have kept me smiling and encouraged.
My two brothers fighting over what sports equipment to get him. Troy wants soccer and Tyler wants baseball.
Listening to my mom ask me why we can't bring home two sweet babies!!
Receiving texts from our friend Barbie that are filled with incredible amounts of encouragement.
Having my sister-in-law say that she and her husband are humbled to be named his guardians! (this one makes a mommy's heart burst with joy!)
Listening to Lily watch Lion King and say her brother lives there in Africa! And continue to ask me if he can play with her in the playroom when Mommy brings him home!
Share this journey with high school students and watch as they ask us about our son and share their own desire to adopt one day as we model this for them!
Fall in love with God more as He opens and softens hearts towards transracial adoption.
I could literally write pages of this! And as we continue along this journey we are so grateful. Grateful to have been chosen by God for this awesome assignment! Yes it is full of roller coaster moments, highs and lows but I wouldn't trade it for anything. At the beginning of this process I was frightened and questioned why God would have called us to something like this. I knew that my weak spirit could not handle the looks, the questions and the constant tension prevalent in transracial adoption. After voicing these concerns to a friend who has adopted two from Ethiopia she simply said, "Nikki, God does not always call us to the easy things!" and while some of this has been trying I can honestly say that I am so thankful He has called me to be uncomfortable. There is no reward in the easy! And the incredible blessings and life change I have seen in myself, my husband, family and friends are worth every moment of pain I may endure! So today I stand thankful that God has called me to the hard! Thankful that He has chosen to use me to show grace and love in the life of a child!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Celebrating others!
This post is a bit unorthodox for me but I just couldn't resist celebrating the crafty and creative things my friends are currently offering! Both of the women I am celebrating today are phenomenal! They are dear friends who are great wives and mothers and I encourage you to check their stuff out and buy if you can!
Nathalie Whisnant and I met on her wedding day! Her husband and Scott were friends in college and Scott was in the wedding. Because of our husbands friendship we have created one I'm sure would rival theirs! I have come to not only value her friendship but her advice about being a mother and her constant encouragement in my life. She has created Drops of Earth! This is what her etsy page says..."All of our organic skin care products are made in small batches with great care...and love, of course. We believe in using simple, organic, raw, wild-harvested, and local ingredients. By doing this, you get to experience pure, healthful, rich, luxurious, effective products that will keep you and your babies smiling." All of her products are made for mama and baby and will leave both of you feeling soft, smooth and pampered. Also check out her Blog for other insane crafty things she comes up with!
Another friend of mine is Rachel Van Hook. Her husband and Scott were on staff together at a church in TN and we all became fast friends! Rachel's daughters are almost the exact same age as my own and so life is very similar for us in that respect. I have come to admire and be encouraged by her love for people and her God! Rachel and her husband Chuck have recently helped plant a church in western TN and because Rachel is soooo crafty she started crocheting! I've encouraged her to start her own etsy page but for now she is showcasing on facebook!
Like I said please support these fabulous women as they support their families through these products! Enjoy and if you know of others let me know! I am all about the awesome creations of others..because let's be honest, I can't do any of it! HA!
Nathalie Whisnant and I met on her wedding day! Her husband and Scott were friends in college and Scott was in the wedding. Because of our husbands friendship we have created one I'm sure would rival theirs! I have come to not only value her friendship but her advice about being a mother and her constant encouragement in my life. She has created Drops of Earth! This is what her etsy page says..."All of our organic skin care products are made in small batches with great care...and love, of course. We believe in using simple, organic, raw, wild-harvested, and local ingredients. By doing this, you get to experience pure, healthful, rich, luxurious, effective products that will keep you and your babies smiling." All of her products are made for mama and baby and will leave both of you feeling soft, smooth and pampered. Also check out her Blog for other insane crafty things she comes up with!
Another friend of mine is Rachel Van Hook. Her husband and Scott were on staff together at a church in TN and we all became fast friends! Rachel's daughters are almost the exact same age as my own and so life is very similar for us in that respect. I have come to admire and be encouraged by her love for people and her God! Rachel and her husband Chuck have recently helped plant a church in western TN and because Rachel is soooo crafty she started crocheting! I've encouraged her to start her own etsy page but for now she is showcasing on facebook!
Like I said please support these fabulous women as they support their families through these products! Enjoy and if you know of others let me know! I am all about the awesome creations of others..because let's be honest, I can't do any of it! HA!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Why Ethiopia?
If you have been following our blog or reading our facebook posts then you hopefully have been rejoicing with us! Rejoicing because so much of this process has been easy and had so much favor on it. And while it has been easy, there is another side that I haven't shared with everyone. The side where you question and are anxious over everything. The part where you allow others opinions and questions to dictate how you feel about the process and the decisions you have made thus far. Recently I read a blog from another adoptive mom. She writes about peoples reactions and questions and well I'll let you read a snip-it!
"Everyone has a different reaction to our decision to grow our family through adoption. Some people are excited and supportive. Some think we are doing a “kind deed” by helping the poor child. Others are skeptical and wonder if we will love the child the same as our birthed children. Some people feel the need to share some examples of other adopted children who rebelled when they grew up and treated their adoptive parents poorly. Others are in dismay as to why we would adopt a child when I can physically birth children, and they are perplexed as to why we would want a child of another race. Others are against adoption, especially international adoption. Our reason for adoption is simple: love. We wholeheartedly believe that every child is uniquely created and is deserving of love. We believe that every child, regardless of skin color and special needs, was created to grow up in the context of a loving family. All children were wonderfully and lovingly made."
I could not agree more with EVERYTHING she writes. We have received everyone of these reactions and while some cause me to pause and word my answer appropriately, I know my answer every time is LOVE! This is our motivator, our goal, our mission and the purpose of our life. To show the love of Christ to everyone!!
And as I write this I think one of the more frequent questions or comments we receive is, why go over seas? There are so many children who need homes and love right here on our own soil. And I will be honest...I agree!! There are children all over the world in need of love and a family. The best answer I can give you about our decision is, God led us to Ethiopia. God has so burdened our hearts for this country and its people that we cannot deny His leading and His hand in our adoption.
The catalyst for this post was a video that I saw on a friends blog. Our friends have adopted two children from Ethiopia and have been and continue to be supporters and encourager's during this process for us. And let me tell you...watch it!!!!! Don't allow guilt and fear to creep in, but come alive knowing that you have the power to act! You too can reach a hand out in the name of Jesus Christ in Ethiopia, Russia, USA...Where ever!! There are 147 MILLION orphans worldwide! And God in all His sovereignty has chosen us to reach out a hand to a child in Ethiopia. Not because we are worthy or able but because Jesus IS!
"Everyone has a different reaction to our decision to grow our family through adoption. Some people are excited and supportive. Some think we are doing a “kind deed” by helping the poor child. Others are skeptical and wonder if we will love the child the same as our birthed children. Some people feel the need to share some examples of other adopted children who rebelled when they grew up and treated their adoptive parents poorly. Others are in dismay as to why we would adopt a child when I can physically birth children, and they are perplexed as to why we would want a child of another race. Others are against adoption, especially international adoption. Our reason for adoption is simple: love. We wholeheartedly believe that every child is uniquely created and is deserving of love. We believe that every child, regardless of skin color and special needs, was created to grow up in the context of a loving family. All children were wonderfully and lovingly made."
And as I write this I think one of the more frequent questions or comments we receive is, why go over seas? There are so many children who need homes and love right here on our own soil. And I will be honest...I agree!! There are children all over the world in need of love and a family. The best answer I can give you about our decision is, God led us to Ethiopia. God has so burdened our hearts for this country and its people that we cannot deny His leading and His hand in our adoption.
The catalyst for this post was a video that I saw on a friends blog. Our friends have adopted two children from Ethiopia and have been and continue to be supporters and encourager's during this process for us. And let me tell you...watch it!!!!! Don't allow guilt and fear to creep in, but come alive knowing that you have the power to act! You too can reach a hand out in the name of Jesus Christ in Ethiopia, Russia, USA...Where ever!! There are 147 MILLION orphans worldwide! And God in all His sovereignty has chosen us to reach out a hand to a child in Ethiopia. Not because we are worthy or able but because Jesus IS!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Dreaming because He's big enough!!!
Well today was a wonderful moment in the future of our family. We mailed off our home study packet with our next payment...and it felt GREAT! I took a picture of the packet on my dashboard this morning because I like the reminder of what we have done. And it felt so good to know that we are one step closer to bringing our baby home with us.
Lily was acting shy but I was so excited to take this picture. One day when my little boy is old enough we can look at all these pictures and show him how excited we were to get him. How blessed and overwhelmed we felt that God would choose us to be his parents!!
And as this portion of the process is coming to a close, Scott and I have been doing some dreaming. Some big, out of the box dreaming! And because we know and believe that our God is big enough to move mountains and raise someone from the dead we are believing and dreaming for some big things. This adoption has opened our eyes and continues to deepen our faith. At the beginning we certainly did not have anywhere close to $30,000+ (still don't), but we walked ahead in obedience because we trusted that God had called us to this. Can I tell you that HE has provided every penny we have given so far!! Each time a payment is due we look around wondering where it will come from and without fail God shows up!
But we also have looked around and have been talking with others about this process and can I share something Scott and I have come to realize? We believe that $$ is what is holding back so many other families to adopt. I know that when we sat down and looked, I mean actually looked at the cost of an adoption, fear crept in very quickly! And this is where our dreaming comes into play. We aren't too sure about details yet or really how God will shape these dreams but we trust and know that He is big enough to make them come true! If He can take two people from different backgrounds and bring them together to create a crazy, wacky, chaotic family and then choose those two people to be parents to two beautiful daughters and an incredible son then I know He is capable of doing so much more!!
Please continue to pray for our family! We covet your prayers more than you know and love that you are also a part of bringing our boy home!! We love you all!!
Now that we have completed our portion we wait until our social worker calls and in the meantime we continue to collect documents for our dossier. I contacted both our social worker, Adela and our family coordinator, Emily and can I just say...they are great! This process is stressful and full of questions and both of these women have been nothing but helpful. And while I'm on the subject of being helpful I cannot tell you how many people have chipped in to help us. Notarize documents, pick things up and just offer love and support! Here is a shot of the four of us with our docs before we sent them off.
And as this portion of the process is coming to a close, Scott and I have been doing some dreaming. Some big, out of the box dreaming! And because we know and believe that our God is big enough to move mountains and raise someone from the dead we are believing and dreaming for some big things. This adoption has opened our eyes and continues to deepen our faith. At the beginning we certainly did not have anywhere close to $30,000+ (still don't), but we walked ahead in obedience because we trusted that God had called us to this. Can I tell you that HE has provided every penny we have given so far!! Each time a payment is due we look around wondering where it will come from and without fail God shows up!
But we also have looked around and have been talking with others about this process and can I share something Scott and I have come to realize? We believe that $$ is what is holding back so many other families to adopt. I know that when we sat down and looked, I mean actually looked at the cost of an adoption, fear crept in very quickly! And this is where our dreaming comes into play. We aren't too sure about details yet or really how God will shape these dreams but we trust and know that He is big enough to make them come true! If He can take two people from different backgrounds and bring them together to create a crazy, wacky, chaotic family and then choose those two people to be parents to two beautiful daughters and an incredible son then I know He is capable of doing so much more!!
Please continue to pray for our family! We covet your prayers more than you know and love that you are also a part of bringing our boy home!! We love you all!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Depraved Indifference
A friend of ours posted this on facebook and if you look at Scott or my facebook than you may have already seen this. I encourage you to watch this. Take time from your email, your phone, the TV and whatever other distractions you may have and watch what God has called each of us to!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Update
WHEW!! The month of December was busy for us. Anna celebrated her 1st birthday and of course, Christmas and all that encompasses that holiday! Tons of family came in and we took family pictures. This was an interesting experience. On Scott's side of the family there are 19 of us. This includes his parents, all four kids, their spouses and their kids. Did I mention there are 19 of us? For the most part we all came out fairly unscathed! And during the process, in true Lily style she pitched an awful fit! I know in every picture she will either be screaming or have a lollipop in her mouth. (This was the only thing that worked to calm her!) We also celebrated new years with family and friends. During all of this we also stopped the bottle with Anna and finally managed to potty-train Lily!!! This last one was huge! My strong-willed, independent, my way or the highway child was finally ready and we ran as far from pull-ups as we could!
January doesn't exactly slow down for us. Yesterday Scott and I celebrated 7 years of being married. And on Thursday Lily will be 3! Next weekend we are having a 'punzel' party and asking everyone to dress up as their favorite princess!! It should be full of pink, ruffles, bows and fun! (Stay tuned for pictures.) And in the middle of this controlled chaos we are finishing our adoption paperwork.
This is a list of things we have completed in the past 6 weeks...
1. Composed an application letter to be included in our dossier.
2. Obtained birth certificates and marriage license
3. Had extensive physical exams for Scott and I
4. Obtained proof of life and medical insurance.
5. Completed a financial statement
6. Obtained letters of employment
7. Asked 3 fabulous friends to write glowing letters of reference
8. Obtained police clearance letters
9. Completed a questionnaire with 150 questions...each
10. Made photocopies of dozens of things
11. Tracked our residential history for 10 years
12. Completed a fire exam for our home
13. Completed a health inspection on our home
14. Obtained proof of ownership of our home
15. Made photo pages of our family and our home
16. Completed 8 hours of online adoption training
17. So many other documents I can't even list them!!!
AND, about 3 out of every 4 documents have to be notarized!!!
And yet, I cannot begin to explain or tell you all the ways God has shown up. Maybe someday I will be able to elaborate more on how He has provided for us over and over again but right now I stand in awe of His ways. Hopefully by the beginning of next week we will have finished our home study paperwork and have sent it off to Dallas. The next big step is to send all of our dossier information to our agency in VA. Once this large document has been approved it gets sent to Ethiopia and then the good stuff starts!! As always I will continue to keep you updated if anything of interest or excitement happens. In the meantime I pray that 2011 finds you happy, healthy and blessed beyond your comprehension.
January doesn't exactly slow down for us. Yesterday Scott and I celebrated 7 years of being married. And on Thursday Lily will be 3! Next weekend we are having a 'punzel' party and asking everyone to dress up as their favorite princess!! It should be full of pink, ruffles, bows and fun! (Stay tuned for pictures.) And in the middle of this controlled chaos we are finishing our adoption paperwork.
This is a list of things we have completed in the past 6 weeks...
1. Composed an application letter to be included in our dossier.
2. Obtained birth certificates and marriage license
3. Had extensive physical exams for Scott and I
4. Obtained proof of life and medical insurance.
5. Completed a financial statement
6. Obtained letters of employment
7. Asked 3 fabulous friends to write glowing letters of reference
8. Obtained police clearance letters
9. Completed a questionnaire with 150 questions...each
10. Made photocopies of dozens of things
11. Tracked our residential history for 10 years
12. Completed a fire exam for our home
13. Completed a health inspection on our home
14. Obtained proof of ownership of our home
15. Made photo pages of our family and our home
16. Completed 8 hours of online adoption training
17. So many other documents I can't even list them!!!
AND, about 3 out of every 4 documents have to be notarized!!!
And yet, I cannot begin to explain or tell you all the ways God has shown up. Maybe someday I will be able to elaborate more on how He has provided for us over and over again but right now I stand in awe of His ways. Hopefully by the beginning of next week we will have finished our home study paperwork and have sent it off to Dallas. The next big step is to send all of our dossier information to our agency in VA. Once this large document has been approved it gets sent to Ethiopia and then the good stuff starts!! As always I will continue to keep you updated if anything of interest or excitement happens. In the meantime I pray that 2011 finds you happy, healthy and blessed beyond your comprehension.
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