Losing hope

Can I confess something? I'm embarrassed to admit it but I'm stuck in a place of losing hope. The past couple of weeks we have been steadily collecting information, getting documents approved by our agency for our dossier...honestly things are cruising right along. But I've found myself in a state of sadness. A place where I am sad and losing hope. I'm not sure if it is the holidays and I'm not in california with my family, or I miss my grandma and this is my first christmas without her. I'm not sure if I am just allowing myself to fall into this state of melancholy or if I am struggling with my faith during this adoption....I just don't know. But here I am feeling no motivation for really anything and knowing how wrong it is.

The common saying is that adoption is not for the faint of heart and it isn't hard to understand. It is a state of ups and downs. Filled with awesome moments of awe in the power of God followed by bottomless pits of gut wrenching faith as you are powerless to control anything. The latter is where I find myself. Here we are working daily to gather information and return it to our social worker...but unless we have a large sum of money quickly we can't turn anything in. And while I know how powerful my God is and I know He can provide for me, even when I don't see it, here I find myself...losing hope that this is going to work out.

Can I ask a favor? Would you please be in prayer for me? Not that God would provide the money...but that my faith would grow stronger, that my knowledge of who God is would be bigger in my life and that through this process I would see the hand of God in my family, friends and supporters!

Thanks for walking with us, supporting us and loving us! We cannot tell you how important and meaningful it is to have you all in our lives!