Can I confess something? I'm embarrassed to admit it but I'm stuck in a place of losing hope. The past couple of weeks we have been steadily collecting information, getting documents approved by our agency for our dossier...honestly things are cruising right along. But I've found myself in a state of sadness. A place where I am sad and losing hope. I'm not sure if it is the holidays and I'm not in california with my family, or I miss my grandma and this is my first christmas without her. I'm not sure if I am just allowing myself to fall into this state of melancholy or if I am struggling with my faith during this adoption....I just don't know. But here I am feeling no motivation for really anything and knowing how wrong it is.
The common saying is that adoption is not for the faint of heart and it isn't hard to understand. It is a state of ups and downs. Filled with awesome moments of awe in the power of God followed by bottomless pits of gut wrenching faith as you are powerless to control anything. The latter is where I find myself. Here we are working daily to gather information and return it to our social worker...but unless we have a large sum of money quickly we can't turn anything in. And while I know how powerful my God is and I know He can provide for me, even when I don't see it, here I find myself...losing hope that this is going to work out.
Can I ask a favor? Would you please be in prayer for me? Not that God would provide the money...but that my faith would grow stronger, that my knowledge of who God is would be bigger in my life and that through this process I would see the hand of God in my family, friends and supporters!
Thanks for walking with us, supporting us and loving us! We cannot tell you how important and meaningful it is to have you all in our lives!
Sweet friend, I will pray for you. Adoption is so sanctifying.
ReplyDelete1 Peter 1:3-9 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
I'm holding up your arms for you...
ReplyDeleteExodus 17
11 As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. 12 Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. 13 As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.
love you