For a Mama's Eyes Only

Tonight Scott and I had a date night!! Always a treat and always nice to sit in a dark movie theater, hold my honey's hand and slip into an alternate world without worries and cares. Well, we chose to see Secretariat because everyone had been raving about it and I can say whole heartedly it was a really great movie! As it started I was totally engrossed in the story of a housewife who decided to stand up for something she believed in. As it continued I felt such a kinship with the character. Not because she was raising horses, (I don't know anything about horses) or because she lived in Denver, (I've never even been there) no, I felt such a draw towards this character because she struggled and sacrificed for something she truly believed in. She had faith in something bigger than herself when others continually beat her down.

But, as she fights for the horse she so deeply believes in, she sacrifices time with her husband, her kids and misses out on vital parts of there lives. I can totally relate to the inner struggle I so often have between the two callings God has placed in my life. So often in my passion for the things of God I feel this tug. The pull to be with my husband and children while at the same time the pull to bring hope to the lost, to be a part of something bigger than my living room. I don't say this lightly. I know that the time I have with my children is priceless and will flash before my eyes and I cherish every new and exciting moment I have with them. But my heart aches to have a larger impact for what I believe is the only hope left in our world. Jesus.

I don't have a happy answer for this struggle. I still have not figured out how to balance both or allow both to coexist, especially with small children. But for now I know my place is at home with my babies. While the world may look at a "stay at home mom" and see very little, I know that the things I teach my children can have a huge impact. I may be the mother of the next Kari Jobe, or female Billy Graham. A young woman of God who will impact millions for the kingdom of Jesus Christ. I also know that when my girls are out of the house I still have plenty of time to take that hope to the masses. To be the hands and feet of Jesus. But regardless of where I may be I want to be like this character in Secretariat. Whether I am at home or serving the homeless and orphaned. I want those around me to see a woman who believes with every fiber of her being in something bigger than herself. A woman who will sacrifice for this belief. A woman who will fight for this belief. A woman who runs the race God has set before her with endurance!

I titled this blog for Mama's eyes only because I know so many mothers who struggle with this same tug on their hearts. But regardless of where you find yourself or the choices you make about where God has you, be the type of woman who not only runs the race but runs it with integrity, honesty, passion and love! I love you all!